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The Hard Questions: 100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say "I Do", by Susan Piver
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Product details
Paperback: 112 pages
Publisher: TarcherPerigee; Reissue edition (December 27, 2007)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1585426210
ISBN-13: 978-1585426218
Product Dimensions:
5 x 0.3 x 7.1 inches
Shipping Weight: 3.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.1 out of 5 stars
118 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#38,248 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
My husband and I read this book when we were dating. We've been married for seven years. Now we gift it to anyone thinking about getting married. It poses trivial questions about daily life that you probably would not think of on your own. Sometimes the same questions are worded differently. This can be annoying or get you to approach the same subject from a different prospective. For some of my friends, this book allows one partner to discuss a sensitive area (spending habits, family) without the other person feeling attacked.We went through the questions during road trips as a way to pass time. Not only did we get to know each other better, it was a confrontational way to discuss issues for which we had strong feelings. Plus, when the eldest of four marries an only child, holiday spending and family priorities are important topics. Eventually we would have gotten to most of these topics on our own, but it helped create a stronger foundation for our marriage.One commenter wrote that this book doesn't ask philosophical questions. That's true. Hopefully, those types of things are discussed while you're enjoying a meal. This book will ask if it is okay to lend money to family or where to spend holidays. Topics that are better discussed before marriage than argued after the nuptials.
My fiancee and I are seperated by thousands of miles, due to his military career, I'm on the east coast and he's on the west coast, so this book has really been a blessing to us.Because of the physical distance, this book has given us a lot to talk about that we wouldn't have even thought of, due to the seperation. When we are together, we're too excited to have those in depth conversations.With the book though, it makes us feel closer together, and makes us talk about so many things we may have overlooked.The book is a good size front.Plus easy to slide in your purse so you can take it with you.Its well written.Quickly shipped.Both of us enjoy the book and would purchase it again.Definitely recommended
My best friend's wife is a non-religious couples therapist, and she has her clients go through this book together. I got this a Valentine's gift for my boyfriend and I to work through, as we were getting pretty serious and started thinking about getting married. This was the best thing that every happened to me, relationship-wise. As we started to read through the book, we both realized how much we didn't know about each other and how much we vastly differed on our responses to the questions presented in this book. Ultimately, we couldn't get through the chapter on money, and our lack of compromise led to our break-up. I don't think this book is meant to make you end your relationship with someone, but it does make you think. It helped me get a frame of reference about building these thoughts in a the start of relationship and working through them slowly. I would say I'm in a much healthier relationship now and this book helped me create a better foundation at how I should be approaching a relationship and communicating with my partner.
I was expecting better conversation ideas from this. I was really bummed out the questions in here were some of the following. Do we eat meals together? Who is responsible for shopping? Do we have a sense of our own style? Wasn’t a book where you close it and feel like you had a great conversation with your partner. My fiancé and I did go through it together(he’s a trooper) felt like we only found one good question.
I give this to every engaged couple I believe will benefit. Even if the reader thinks certain questions don't apply, the book encourages conversation and communication. All the right questions in one place. Our nephew and his girlfriend are in the process of reading every single question and both are finding it extremely helpful. Some couples I've given this to have rolled their eyes. It's their loss.
I disagree with previous writers who say the questions are childish, or for people with a short engagement. We had a long engagement, and found this book to be quite stimulating. I will agree that some of the questions you hopefully have talked about before becoming engaged, but others we hadn't thought of.Also, the book is supposed to spur discussion, contemplation, and conversation, and the questions are not supposed to elicit just at one sentence answer. Developing good communication is a must for any marriage, and this book is great at sparking discussion and debate. It is nice that it has questions like "What do you think a father is supposed to do?" as the answer to these can vary greatly from person to person. If you discuss these types of questions before even getting married, you will be able to have realistic expectations of your future spouse, knowing better his/her beliefs and expectations of you too. The point of this book is to find out if there are huge discrepancies in your backgrounds, morals and values, so that you can work through them before they become an issue, and destroy your relationship.The thing I liked best about this book, is that while reading it, in answering a question, we would often get into conversation about things that were related, but not necessarily asked in the book.I think this book is great for married couples, as well as engaged couples.
This is a good book to read if you're engaged or in a serious relationship considering engagement. It will help you (or you with your partner hopefully) figure out where you might have issues to resolve now or potentially in the future if you do decide to marry. I wish more people read books like this one before saying yes to the dress (or diamond).
This book should be required reading for anyone contemplating marriage. I wish I had had it some 45 years ago before I married. It would have made a huge difference in the learning curve in going from the single, carefree life to "wedded bliss." It is not all about the wedding, dress, gifts and party. It is about the life you live afterward.
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