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"This is a must-read for every family that yearns to create peace and harmony.”--Shefali Tsabary, Ph.D., New York Times bestselling author of The Conscious ParentTired of yelling and nagging? True family connection is possible--and this essential guide shows us how.Popular parenting blogger Rebecca Eanes believes that parenting advice should be about more than just getting kids to behave. Struggling to maintain a meaningful connection with her two little ones and frustrated by the lack of emotionally aware books for parents, she began to share her own insights with readers online. Her following has grown into a thriving community--hundreds of thousands strong. In this eagerly anticipated guide, Eanes shares her hard-won wisdom for overcoming limiting thought patterns and recognizing emotional triggers, as well as advice for connecting with kids at each stage, from infancy to adolescence. This heartfelt, insightful advice comes not from an "expert," but from a learning, evolving parent. Filled with practical, solution-oriented advice, this is an empowering guide for any parent who longs to end the yelling, power struggles, and downward spiral of acting out, punishment, resentment, and shame--and instead foster an emotional connection that helps kids learn self-discipline, feel confident, and create lasting, loving bonds.
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Product details
Series: The Positive Parent Series
Paperback: 208 pages
Publisher: TarcherPerigee (June 7, 2016)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0143109227
ISBN-13: 978-0143109228
Product Dimensions:
5.4 x 0.6 x 8.2 inches
Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.6 out of 5 stars
127 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#13,588 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
This was a really good book that provides a great introduction to positive, respectful parenting theories and techniques. After reading several other books on this topic, I don't think this book was the best though. If I had read this book first, I may have given it a better rating. But after reading several books on this topic, I just don't think it's worth a 4 or 5 star review for me personally. There were good things and bad things about this book that influenced my reason for this "just okay" rating.The Good:I like that this book is not written by an “expertâ€. The author is simply a mom that read a bunch a books from experts and put them into practice and figured out what worked best for her family.The author's style of writing makes it really easy to read and follow. It can be difficult to read some parenting books by “experts†that go into so much technical detail that it makes it feel like you're studying a collage textbook on child behavioral psychology and neurology, or they go off on long case studies and stories to demonstrate a point. This book offers very straightforward and to the point advice that is nicely layed out in numbered and bulleted lists with the major points being displayed in bold text in the paragraph. It was also a very quick read. I easily read this book in 2 days.I found every piece of advice in this book to be excellent! I've read dozens of parenting books but this is the first one I've read that I actually agreed with 100% of the book. I have a few favorite books that I love and recommend to anyone who asks for a recommendation. But even with those books there were always a few things I didn't quite agree with. Not this one though. I feel like this book was so spot on I could have written it myself.The not so good:You're probably wondering, with all the wonderful things I have say about the book, how can I possibly give it 3 stars instead of 5? The reason I didn't give this book 5 stars was because it's doesn't offer anything new. While I think the author does an excellent job of pulling out the best ideas from various experts and summarizing their work, that's really all this book is is a summary of significantly more helpful books. Having already read all the books that this author has read, I could almost pick out which book each piece of advice came from. The problem is that she doesn't go into nearly enough detail on most subjects. The author attempts to cover so many topics that every chapter in this book could have been an entire book in itself. For example, in chapter 2 the author talks about writing down your childhood story to help explore how those experiences have shaped the way we parent and effect our thought patterns today and how to change them by re-writing our stories. This was basically just a summary of Siegel's book Parenting from the Inside Out that covered this topic in much more depth. She also pulls from Siegel's book The Whole Brained Child when she talks about the upstairs brain vs. the downstairs brain and the “lizard brain†without going into the detail needed to fully explain these complex topics.In conclusion:If you've already read Dr. Siegels books: Parenting from the Inside Out, The Whole Brained Child and/or No-Drama Discipline, Janet Lansbury's No Bad Kids, and Markham's book Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids can probably pass on this book because you won't get anything new from it. If you haven't read these books, I would recommend passing on this book anyway and just reading those instead because you will get much more in depth coverage on several important concepts. If you don't have the time to read all those book or you would just like an introduction into positive parenting to see if it's for you, then this would be a really great option for you. This book is defiantly an excellent starting point. However, if you read this book and you like it, I would recommend also reading some of these other books to expend on the ideas introduced in this book. If you only have time to read one other book though, I would highly recommend No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind. Also, if you're like me and you want to practice positive parenting but you struggle with self-control and getting too emotional while you discipline, I would also recommend the book:Mindful Discipline: A Loving Approach to Setting Limits and Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child. I think this book will do a much better job of helping you to gain self-control by introducing you to the practice of mindfulness. As the author of Positive Parenting explains, you can't discipline your child until you learn to discipline yourself first. This is so true but if that is something that you really struggle with, as I think many parents do, I don't think this book will be enough to help you with that.
I was introduced to positive parenting principles and to Rebecca Eanes's amazing books in an unusual way. I teach restoratively justice, and I had become accustomed to outlining for my students the differences between the kinds of questions that traditional criminal justice asks when a crime is committed (Whose fault is it? What did they do? How can we punish them?) and those posed by restorative justice (What happened? Why did it happen? How can we make things right?); yet it never occurred to me that applying what I knew about the "blame game" and the "pain game" to parenting would be a smart move. While I was pregnant with my twins, I showed my students a TEDx talk with Katy Hutchison in which she describes her family's use of a time-in rather than a time-out (and explains how she wanted that same kind of time-in with her daughter's killer). For some reason, that video clip really resonated with me, as did her explanation that putting a child in time-out only alienates and isolates them - it fails to address whatever underlying need all parties concerned may have. I start reading up on the subject and came across The Newbie's Guide to Positive Parenting by Rebecca Eanes, then her Facebook community, Positive Parenting: Toddlers and Beyond, and now Positive Parenting: An Essential Guide (her most recent book).Reminiscent of Pam Leo's Connection Parenting and L. R. Knost's The Gentle Parent but packed full of practical tips and ideas, Rebecca's book is indeed an essential guide to understanding why children behave the way that they do, and how we as parents can change our focus from controlling and punishing them to cultivating the kind of connected, secure relationship with them that will nurture them and help them reach their full potential. The book encourages readers to work on their own in order to identify triggers and concerns before putting these into action, and this self-reflection and heightened self-awareness results in much deeper, more meaningful family connections. My own parenting has benefited tremendously from exposure to this paradigm shift - I consciously treat my children with respect and empathy and find that I have more patience and a greater sense of calm in negotiating situations where we disagree. I'm indescribably grateful for Rebecca's willingness to share her expertise and experience, and I feel confident and assured in the knowledge that her book is making me a better, more mindful parent with each read.
I have quite a few positive parenting books, both paperback and kindle/ibooks. The common theme among positive parenting books is building and maintaining connection with your child through love and respect. Dr. Markham has several good books on the subject. There are a couple things that sets this book apart from the others. First, Ms. Eanes is extremely non-judgmental. Dr. Markham's books are as well, but when you read this book, you feel as if she has been there right along with you. Its written to sort of hold your hand through the process. Like a good friend that has gone through something and is helping you learn what she has already figured out. The second thing is related to this. As it is written, the book gives suggestions, techniques, and discussion questions to work through that really help you move from theory to practice. Working through one's own issues is essential to be an effective parent, and FINALLY someone helps you achieve this. She helps you take account for your partner's role in parenting, which is unique. Many of us who try to practice positive parenting have partners that are willing to learn, but maybe not as willing to invest in reading books. A few of the chapters have started helpful discussions between my partner and I. I am so grateful for this book. I have four little boys and they can be really challenging. This book is really helping me get where I want to be. Thank you!
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